Notes From The Mind Of an Overthinker
Overthinkers.you've heard of us.You might have one in the family,you might be friends with one of us, you might BE one of us. We are the type of people who you might catch staring at the wall for a long time with wierd expressions on our faces, or if you're chatting with us you might see the italic "typing..." Under our name for five minutes without actually recieving a message at the end. We're the type of people who rehearse conversations and events in our minds over and over again while we tend to think about every possible outcome and what we should/might/could do in every situation. We have a lot of wierd dreams because we focus on our thoughts too much. Focusing on the real world might be really difficult at times because we're too consumed with what's inside our own heads.
I personally am the most overthinking person I've ever met.
I tend to just sit and think what everything means,what I should do if x happens,what's y gonna think if I say this?what if I don't say anything? Etc.it really lowers my productivity, my happiness is at stake, and the quality of my relationships is suffering . my friends sometimes go crazy because They have to hear about all my crazy theories, all my logical and illogical assumptions. And they have to bare my impulsive reactions when I reach absurd conclusions in my head. And in the occasion where I'm actually right about something that I don't find pleasant ,it just increases my negativity and makes me think of my "overthinking process" as a shield that helps me be readier for bad events ,that's why you might often hear me say "I knew this would happen."
I read an article on buzzfeed about 21 things over thinkers struggle with every day .Reading it inspired me to find things one can do to help reduce overthinking. I have mixed and experimented my personal experience and a lot of people's remedies from the internet and narrowed it down to the following, here it is
Things that can reduce overthinking:
1- engaging in more mind consuming activities
There are some activities that might actually boost overthinking, activities like knitting might make your mind wander,if you find yourself overthinking try to start an activity that challenges your brain. Work on a crossword puzzle maybe.
2-know when to stop,and just take action.
Thinking too much stops you from taking action ,you can sit all day and never reach a final decision, nothing is definite and you have to know that there's always a possibility of you changing your mind. Stop. Take the first step and then take the other and do some of the thinking along the way.
"Thinking has,many a time ,made me sad,darling .but doing never did in all my life...my precept is,do something,my sister,do good if you can;but at any rate ,do something."-Elizabeth Gaskel
3- make your body tired during the day
People who don't have enough body activity during the day tend to spend their energy thinking and rethinking .so a good way to stop that energy from going to unwanted places is to really work out during the day and get the excess energy out so it won't go to your brain.
4- don't compare everything to everything
Over thinkers tend to compare whatever is happening in their life to things they think are similair to their situation.other people's stories don't mean that the outcome of your story is going to be the same. Overthinkers tend to shut their eyes on facts and tend to magnify other experiences that have had a bad result and similarize their situation to those unfortunate stories and assume the outcome will be the same. This doesn't work so remind yourself to stop comparing.
5-perfect is never possible
You should realize that perfection is a myth . It isn't human. Don't waste your time.
6-measure the actual time you're overthinking on a subject and count the more productive stuff you could have done in that time and plan on actually doing those instead next time.
7-know that peace comes from within
Why do we overthink?because we want to take action in a way to better our lives,make everything ok, fix our relationships,gain peace of mind. Well that is a paradox in itself .peace never comes from overthinking.if you come to the conclusion that peace starts from the mind then you will take time to still your mind everyday. Practice mindfulness and meditate.
I'm still doing research on this subject because of course I still struggle with this issue a lot of the time. But here are a few links that were helpful for me .
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-ways-stop-overthinking-start-living/
http://www.refocuser.com/2009/08/9-ways-to-stop-overthinking-everything/